“I’m not the only one who ever told a lie!” Such a remark is an example of one of many ego defense mechanisms – also known as defense mechanisms. These are not necessarily maladaptive or inappropriate. In some cases, they are positive and socially acceptable reactions to impulses that we have.

In Freudian psychology, ego defense mechanisms (EDMs) are strategies through which the ego manages the inherent conflict between the id and superego. The id is impulsive, childish and pleasure seeking while the superego is normative and moralistic. EDMs are tactics/strategies that the ego uses to cope with anxieties that arise from this conflict. Individuals also use them to maintain their self-image.

All ego defensive mechanisms are habitual or unconscious and seek to affect reality in some way. Usually, they represent attempts to transform, distort or falsify reality (or perceptions at least). Defense responses are not coping mechanisms either. Coping mechanisms are characterized as conscious and rational, whereas defense mechanisms are irrational and subliminal.

Freudian psychologists consider EDMs as natural responses to various forms of anxiety. These anxieties could be reality anxiety (often a fear of something physical), neurotic anxiety (an unconscious fear that arises from the need to restrict the id) and moral anxiety (fear of breaking social and moral codes). Psychologists typically classify defensive responses according to the anxieties that they address. Freudian psychology perceives defense mechanisms as tension-reducing tactics.

There exist several types of defense mechanisms. George Vaillant’s classification of defense mechanism breaks the plethora of these into four levels:

i) Psychotic defenses
ii) Immature defenses
iii) Neurotic defenses
iv) Mature defenses

Psychotic defenses are harmful, maladaptive mechanisms that can affect the development of an individual and lead to deeper psychological issues. These include psychotic delusions and psychotic projection. Attributing a deviant act to an improbable cause is an instance of psychotic defense.

Immature defenses are those that we used in childhood and which some individuals continue to use through adolescence and adulthood. Tantrums, fantasies and projection are common forms of this second level of defense mechanisms. Playing the ‘blame game’ is a classic example of an immature defense.

Neurotic defenses are used by adults and represent ways of preventing the impulses and desires of the id from surfacing or being revealed. Tactics include intellectualization, justification, repression and displacement. Persons who attribute problems that they are experiencing to external stimuli or other persons use this level of defense.

Mature defenses are positive ways of managing the conflict between the id and superego. The primary tactic here is sublimation- the transformation of socially unacceptable impulses and desires of the id into highly desirable (even noble) actions. Altruism, humor and suppression are other common methods of reducing psychological tension that arises through the id/superego conflict. An example of this is someone engaging in sporting activities to reduce sexual tension.

Individuals use several types and instances of ego defenses mechanisms in their daily lives. These are merely ways in which they respond to anxieties, impulses or threats that arise from the id. Defense mechanisms are triggered by fears, desires and perceived threats. Whether they have positive or negative effects depends on their frequency, context and their root cause.

http://www.psychologymajors.com/psychology-the-study-of-the-human-mind

1. Get up 15 minutes earlier
2. Prepare for the morning the night before
3. Avoid tight fitting clothes
4. Avoid relying on chemical aids
5. Set appointments ahead
6. Don’t rely on your memory … write it down
7. Practice preventive maintenance
8. Make duplicate keys
9. Say “no” more often
10. Set priorities in your life
11. Avoid negative people
12. Use time wisely
13. Simplify meal times
14. Always make copies of important papers
15. Anticipate your needs
16. Repair anything that doesn’t work properly
17. Ask for help with the jobs you dislike
18. Break large tasks into bite size portions
19. Look at problems as challenges
20. Look at challenges differently
21. Unclutter your life
22. Smile
23. Be prepared for rain
24. Tickle a baby
25. Pet a friendly dog/cat
26. Don’t know all the answers
27. Look for a silver lining
28. Say something nice to someone
29. Teach a kid to fly a kite
30. Walk in the rain
31. Schedule play time into every day
32. Take a bubble bath
33. Be aware of the decisions you make
34. Believe in yourself
35. Stop saying negative things to yourself
36. Visualize yourself winning
37. Develop your sense of humor
38. Stop thinking tomorrow will be a better today
39. Have goals for yourself
40. Dance a jig
41. Say “hello” to a stranger
42. Ask a friend for a hug
43. Look up at the stars
44. Practice breathing slowly
45. Learn to whistle a tune
46. Read a poem
47. Listen to a symphony
48. Watch a ballet
49. Read a story curled up in bed
50. Do a brand new thing
51. Stop a bad habit
52. Buy yourself a flower
53. Take time to small the flowers
54. Find support from others
55. Ask someone to be your “vent-partner”
56. Do it today
57. Work at being cheerful and optimistic
58. Put safety first
59. Do everything in moderation
60. Pay attention to your appearance
61. Strive for Excellence NOT perfection
62. Stretch your limits a little each day
63. Look at a work of art
64. Hum a jingle
65. Maintain your weight
66. Plant a tree
67. Feed the birds
68. Practice grace under pressure
69. Stand up and stretch
70. Always have a plan “B”
71. Learn a new doodle
72. Memorize a joke
73. Be responsible for your feelings
74. Learn to meet your own needs
75. Become a better listener
76. Know your limitations and let others know them, too
77. Tell someone to have a good day in pig Latin
78. Throw a paper airplane
79. Exercise every day
80. Learn the words to a new song
81. Get to work early
82. Clean out one closet
83. Play patty cake with a toddler
84. Go on a picnic
85. Take a different route to work
86. Leave work early (with permission)
87. Put air freshener in your car
88. Watch a movie and eat popcorn
89. Write a note to a far away friend
90. Go to a ball game and scream
91. Cook a meal and eat it by candlelight
92. Recognize the importance of unconditional love
93. Remember that stress is an attitude
94. Keep a journal
95. Practice a monster smile
96. Remember you always have options
97. Have a support network of people, places and things
98. Quit trying to fix other people
99. Get enough sleep
100. Talk less and listen more
101. Freely praise other people BONUS: Relax, take each day at a time…you have the rest of your life to live!

Resource: http://honolulu.hawaii.edu/intranet/committees/FacDevCom/guidebk/teachtip/101ways.htm

Forensic psychology is one of the fastest growing areas of psychology as suggested both by an increase in the practice of clinical psychology within our legal system and the increasing interest expressed by undergraduate and graduate students. However, students often become interested in the field because of sensationalistic media portrayals that may not be accurate nor offer realistic employment opportunities. Students may become disheartened to learn that certain media depictions are less than realistic but should be excited to learn about the real possibilities forensic psychology has to offer. This article will attempt to describe the field of forensic psychology, identify possible careers, and suggest relevant training opportunities.

It’s difficult to turn on a television, go to the movies, or walk through a bookstore without running across a fictional portrayal of a crazed but brilliant serial or mass murderer being tracked by a psychologically sophisticated and deductively sound hero. Popular movies such as Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal and television shows like Profiler often depict the intersection of law enforcement and psychology in sensationalistic and dramatic fashion. If you watch the news or read a newspaper you can hear about the psychological “sketch” offered by a forensic psychologist in the latest Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Kaczynski, or Michael McDermott trial. Our society has become increasingly fascinated with individuals who seemingly are able to perpetrate the most heinous crimes imaginable. Now is this stuff interesting?
Sure it is! Similar things got me interested in forensic psychology! We are horrified but drawn to these scenes much like we are drawn to the aftermath of a car accident. Are these depictions accurate? Probably not. Are they accurate depictions of forensic psychology? Almost never. Forensic psychologists are not able to become psychically linked with a particular killer and visualize their next move as the heroes in the movies or on television seem to do. Forensic psychology is a discipline based on the scientific practice of psychology. So, while forensic psychologists get the cool jobs, they are far from the situations often portrayed.

So What is Forensic Psychology?

If someone told you he or she was a forensic psychologist, what would you think they do? Do they have something to do with the high school speech and debate team? Do they perform autopsies on homicide victims? If you are like most people, these thoughts probably immediately came to mind. However, the origin of the word forensic comes from the Latin word forum. Forums were the public gathering places in the Roman city-states where much of the judicial process took place in the form of debates. As a result, forensic psychology deals with the intersection of psychology and the legal process.
There continues to be debate in the field about the definition and breadth of the term forensic psychology. Some professionals apply the term broadly to describe any intersection of the legal system and psychology (Wrightsman, 2001). However, others use the term to specifically describe the clinical practice of psychology in legal contexts (e.g., Melton, Huss, & Tomkins, 1999). For example, the American Board of Forensic Psychology and the American Psychology-Law Society (1995) define forensic psychology as:

the professional practice by psychologists within the areas of clinical psychology, counseling psychology, neuropsychology, and school psychology, when they are engaged regularly as experts and represent themselves as such, in an activity primarily intended to provide professional psychological expertise to the judicial system. (p. 6)

Such a definition focuses the field on the mental health aspects of psychology and the law and away from the more experimental areas of jury selection and eyewitness identification. When I speak of forensic psychology, I will be focusing on the intersection of mental health, or the clinical practice of psychology, and the law. Moreover, when I speak of the law, I do not simply mean law enforcement but the legal process itself. Working with law enforcement is just one activity a forensic psychologist may undertake in a routine day.
Clinical psychologists are broadly concerned with the assessment and treatment of persons with mental disorders. They interact with people suffering from a variety of mental health problems ranging from the less severe (marital difficulties and adjustment problems) to the more severe (e.g., schizophrenia, posttraumatic stress disorder, major depression, or bipolar disorder). Clinical psychologists specializing in forensic psychology work with individuals who may present with a variety of mental illnesses and mental health issues within the context of the criminal or civil arenas of the law. Civil matters usually involve civil litigation in which a plaintiff usually brings forward a suit because they believe someone else has physically or emotionally injured them. Examples may include personal injury suits, civil commitment proceedings, child custody disputes, or workers’ compensation cases. Criminal areas of forensic psychology include those situations in which an individual has committed a crime against society. Examples that necessitate the involvement of a forensic psychologist may include pleading insanity, raising issues of competency to stand trial, assessment of future violence potential during sentencing, or treatment of sex offenders.

Careers in Forensic Psychology

So what can a forensic psychologist do besides track down the bad guys and hang out with “crazy” people who eat their relatives? Forensic psychologists can be employed in a variety of settings including jails, prisons, state hospitals, federal and local law enforcement agencies, community mental health centers, juvenile detention facilities, private practice, or colleges and universities. Forensic psychologists are likely to perform a myriad of roles in these settings that are only limited by time and imagination.
For example, let’s take a brief snapshot of the possible tasks a forensic psychologist may perform. Let’s say a man –we’ll call him Charlie–is accused of brutally murdering a family while they slept. Before he enters a plea, the court may be interested in whether Charlie possesses sufficient intellectual ability (i.e., is competent) to enter a plea (e.g., guilty or not guilty) at his initial arraignment. A forensic psychologist may be called to ascertain whether Charlie has sufficient cognitive ability to understand the nature of the charges against him and can assist in his defense. So, let’s assume the court finds Charlie competent to enter a plea and stand trial for the crime. Charlie may suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, and his defense attorney may be interested in using an insanity defense. Again, you might be asked to assess whether at the time of the crime Charlie was suffering from a mental illness that made it impossible for him to understand the quality of his actions or the difference between right and wrong. Assume the outcome did not go well for Charlie and he was convicted of the murders. Before the court decides whether to sentence him to a particular period of time behind bars, you might once again be asked to evaluate him regarding his potential for future violence. The court, in deciding his ultimate sentence, may take into consideration whether it is probable and under what conditions Charlie is likely to commit future violence. Finally, it appears that Charlie has been sentenced to serve his time in the same institution where you work. It is now your job to design and implement a treatment program for Charlie in order to stabilize him while he is incarcerated and improve his chances if he is ever released. It is not likely that a forensic psychologist would be involved in every aspect of this example case, but it does give you some idea of the possibilities.
It’s clear that with Charlie, forensic psychologists are asked to really get inside the mind of someone. You may have to assess an individual’s current cognitive and mental abilities. You may have to play detective and attempt to assess their mental status at some point in the past. You may even be asked to predict someone’s future behavior. How good of a job does your local meteorologist do at predicting whether it will rain tomorrow or not? Can you imagine how difficult it is to predict the behavior of a human being over the next 20 years of that individual’s life? However, it’s these challenges that offer the most excitement for students entering the field of forensic psychology.
One of the biggest enticements for students to become interested in forensic psychology is their interest in “criminal profiling.” The reality is that most law enforcement agencies do not use criminal profiling procedures, and those agencies that do use similar procedures are more likely to employ law enforcement personnel than they are to employ a forensic psychologist. Criminal profiling is much more of a law enforcement technique and art form than it is a scientific process (Wrightman, 2001). Students interested in these types of careers should have a broad interest in law enforcement and not simply intend to work as a profiler, because these employment opportunities are extremely rare. Again, the sensationalistic portrayals fall a little short of the reality. Criminal profiling was conceived out of years of law enforcement experience with serial offenders and is not rooted in psychological principles. Thus, most people who conduct “profiling” are law enforcement personnel who may or may not have formal training in the behavioral sciences. More importantly, many graduate programs in forensic psychology do not favorably evaluate applications from students whose sole interest is in criminal profiling.

Training in Forensic Psychology

There are almost as many ways to be trained in forensic psychology as there are possible tasks for forensic psychologists to perform. However, the first thing that should be noted is that in order to be a forensic psychologist you have to be a good clinical psychologist. Also, by saying clinical psychologist I mean someone who practices psychology in some sort of mental health setting, not simply someone who has received a graduate degree in clinical psychology (see Norcross, 2000, for the distinction between clinical and counseling psychology). What I mean is that in order to become a good clinical or practicing psychologist you need a basic understanding of psychopathology, clinical assessment, and psychotherapy. You need to be able to tell the difference between a criminal and a noncriminal. The best training programs allow you to gain experience with both. Students who are only interested in learning about forensic clients and are not interested in more traditional clinical psychology areas could have some difficulty succeeding in quality clinical or counseling psychology programs. However, there are certainly programs available that will allow you to focus on forensic populations while limiting your experience with nonforensic clients.
You may have already guessed that in order to obtain a career in forensic psychology you will probably need a graduate degree, either a master’s or a doctorate. You certainly might be able gain employment in an entry-level position at a forensic hospital or prison (e.g., psychological technician), but you will be very limited by your lack of education. As a result, a number of graduate programs are increasing their offering of forensic course work and practica (Bersoff et al., 1997). The number of programs specific to forensic psychology are also increasing at both the master’s and doctoral levels (Melton et al., 1999).
There are several master’s programs in forensic psychology at institutions such as Castleton State College, the University of Denver, John Jay College, Marymount University, and the Sage Colleges. Of course, these programs are likely to vary in quality and focus of their training. For example, some of these programs identify themselves as “forensic” psychology programs, but their focus is on the broader psycholegal field and not on the clinical practice of psychology. Students interested in forensic psychology should do a thorough job of investigating a program and asking difficult questions. How long does it take students to graduate from the program? Do graduates of the program obtain the types of jobs in which I am interested? What types of job placements or clinical practicum experiences are available? If you eventually want to obtain a PhD, is the program successful at placing students in quality PhD programs?
There also are a number of doctoral training programs at schools such as the University of Alabama, the University of Arizona, the University of Nebraska, Sam Houston State University, and Simon Fraser University, to name a few. A more comprehensive list of graduate programs in forensic psychology can be obtained by checking the American Psychology-Law Society website at www.unl.edu/ap-ls/gradp.htm and www.unl.edu/ap-ls/CAREERS.htm [WEBMASTER NOTE: This material can now be accessed at www.ap-ls.org/students/graduateIndex.html]. At the doctoral level, forensic programs can be very diverse. Programs may offer joint degrees in both clinical psychology (PhD or MA) and the law (JD or MLS) or simply offer specialized course work and clinical experience on the way to a PhD. It is certainly not necessary to receive a law degree in order to be a forensic psychologist. However, joint degree programs may offer some advantages to particular students. Melton et al. (1999) offer a more comprehensive discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of the different types of doctorate programs in forensic psychology.
Remember that in order to be a good forensic psychologist, you must first be a good clinical psychologist. In order to become a competent and successful forensic psychologist, you do not have to enter a forensic psychology program, though it is preferred. In fact, most forensic psychologists have not received their education in one of the select few forensic psychology programs. Obtaining admission to any APA-approved clinical or counseling doctoral program is an achievement! If you decide to pursue your training in a program that does not have a specific focus in forensics, you can obtain predoctoral training in forensically focused clinical placements. You can seek forensic training at forensic predoctoral internships such as with the Federal Bureau of Prisons or a number of mental hospitals around the country. There also are a number of postdoctoral fellowships that can be obtained after you have completed your PhD (see Bersoff et al., 1997, for a comprehensive list).

Conclusion

Simply put, forensic psychology is an awesome field! While you are probably not going to become like Special Agent Clarice Starling in Silence of the Lambs, there are a number of opportunities available for forensic psychologists. It’s hard for me to believe that my original interest has ultimately paid off, and I get to continually learn and teach about the things that I find so interesting and challenging. Furthermore, forensic psychology has not even approached its potential. The next generation of students has a very bright future ahead of them.

References

American Board of Forensic Psychology, & American Psychology-Law Society. (1995). Petition for the recognition of a specialty in professional psychology [Online]. Available: http://www.unl.edu/ap-ls/petition.PDF [WEBMASTER'S NOTE: Link no longer works]

Bersoff, D. N., Goodman-Delahunty, J., Grisso, J. T., Hans, V. P., Poythress, N. G., Jr., & Roesch, R. G. (1997). Training in law and psychology: Models from the Villanova Conference. American Psychologist, 52, 1301-1310.

Melton, G. B., Huss, M. T., & Tomkins, A. J. (1999). Training in forensic psychology and the law. In A. K. Hess & I. B. Weiner (Eds.), Handbook of forensic psychology (2nd ed., pp. 700-720). New York: Wiley.

Norcross, J. C. (2000, Fall). Clinical versus counseling psychology: What’s the diff? Eye on Psi Chi, 5, 20-22.

Wrightsman, L. S. (2001). Forensic psychology. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.

Matthew T. Huss (image)ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Matthew T. Huss, PhD, is an assistant professor at Creighton University in Omaha, Nebr. He earned his undergraduate degree at Creighton University, where he was inducted into Psi Chi. He earned his master’s degree in general – experimental psychology from Emporia State University and is a graduate of the Clinical Psychology Training Program (forensic emphasis) and the Law and Psychology Program at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. He currently teaches Introductory Psychology, Psychology and the Law, Forensic Psychology, and Abnormal Psychology, and is a coauthor of the chapter “Training in Forensic Psychology and the Law” published in Handbook of Forensic Psychology (Melton, Huss, & Tomkins, 1999). His research interests generally revolve around risk management in specific populations (e.g., domestic violence and sex offenders) and forensic psychology in general.

The subject delves into the logic behind human mind / human brain. Our brain guides all the actions that we do and a study of this subject helps us to understand the human mind. It gives us a broad idea as to why do we behave in a particular way. Let us look into it in a little more detail and understand the importance of a psychology degree.

Salient Features of Psychology Degree

There are so many simple questions of life, about a human being, about ourselves, for which we would want an answer, but don?t have a concrete answer on the same. For e.g.

All these questions and many more can be answered by understanding the human mind, by understanding and evaluating how the mind is going to react after a particular action (Stimuli effect).

Psychology is a never-ending fascinating subject and has huge depths within it. A person studying psychology degree can never get bored of it, one of those subjects, which students would love to study.

Study Areas

Specialization can be achieved in following areas of Psychology study:

Career Opportunities

A Psychology degree can open up lucrative career opportunities in Private sector (e.g. marketing, personnel management), public sector (e.g. teaching, social/community work)

Published in the March 15 issue of the American Journal of Epidemiology, the study reaffirms previous research about the beneficial effects of exercise on mood during the time frame that the exercise takes place.

However, individuals in the study who exercised in the 1980s but who were not exercising in the 1990s had lost the mood-enhancing benefits of exercise.
The researchers based their findings on 944 residents of the northern San Diego County community of Rancho Bernardo who were studied during two time periods, 1984-87 and 1992-95.

In the ’80s, the residents — non-depressed and physically able men and women between the ages of 50 and 89 — exercised at least three times a week. Their mood, which was measured by the Beck Depression Inventory (BDI), indicated that these individuals generally had a healthy, non-depressed mood.

The same individuals were followed in the ’90s, with those still exercising studied separately from those no longer exercising.

Those still exercising continued to have low BDI scores, indicating more positive mood and general well-being. On the other hand, the BDI scores of those no longer exercising had risen to levels similar to residents who had never exercised during the two-decade study.

“We determined that the increased age of the individuals was not a factor,” Kritz-Silverstein says. “We also looked at a group of elderly residents who had not exercised in the ’80s, but who began exercise in the ’90s. They had a less depressed mood in the ’90s and scores similar to those who were exercising continuously at both points in time.”

Kritz-Silverstein adds that the study results were somewhat unexpected. “We thought there could be a chance that people who exercised in the past would retain a level of enhanced mood, or lower depression, even though they no longer exercised.”

In addition to Kritz-Silverstein, the study authors were Elizabeth Barrett-Connor, M.D., and Catherine Corbeau, M.D.
The research was funded by a grant from the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDK) and the National Institute of Aging (NIA).

Resource: http://www.unisci.com/stories/20011/0316012.htm

• Less satisfied with life,
• Less happy,
• More likely to be depressed,
• More likely to be paranoid,
• More likely to be narcissistic.

Not a pretty picture, right? But, just like studies examining the connection between success and happiness, many of the findings are correlational. As a result we can’t say for sure that materialism causes all these things, only that they’re associated. So, for better evidence, cue the experiment.

Experiential versus material purchases

Leaf Van Boven from the University of Colorado and Thomas Gilovich from Cornell University carried out an intriguing experiment that gets at this question of whether materialism results in less happiness (Van Boven & Gilovich, 2003).

They randomly divided students into two groups and gave each group slightly different instructions:

1. This group was asked to write a description of a material purchase that had made them happy. Material purchases include things like clothing, gadgets, computers and so on. This could be either something they had bought themselves or that had been bought for them.
2. The task this group had was only slightly different. They were asked to write a description of an experiential purchase that had given them pleasure. Examples of experiential purchases are meals out, admission tickets to concerts and travel.

To see how they were feeling in the moment, participants were given surreptitious measures both before and after writing these short descriptions. Then, after about a week, the same participants were given back their own descriptions of their purchases and asked to reflect on it. Again, they were asked to report on their feelings in the moment.

Comparing these two groups provided a way of comparing how participants felt about two different types of purchases. The results showed that participants felt better when they were contemplating their experiential purchases than their material purchases.

Thinking about experience

As a result of this experiment, Van Boven & Gilovich predicted that people spend more time overall contemplating their experiential rather than material purchases. To test this out they asked participants to think about experiential and material purchases they were particularly happy with. Then they were asked which they thought about more often. The results clearly showed it was the experiential purchases people thought about more often (83%).

Why do experiences fare better than possessions?

It seems, then, that at some level we understand that our experiential purchases give us more pleasure than our material purchases. But why is that? Van Boven (2005) suggests three reasons:

1. Experiences improve with time (possessions don’t).
The reason why experiences improve with time may be because it is possible to think about experiences in a more abstract manner than possessions. For example if you think back to a fantastic summer from your youth, you might easily remember an abstract sense of warm sunshine and exuberance, but you’re less likely to remember exactly what you did day-by-day. On a moment-by-moment basis you might have been quite bored, although you’ll tend not to remember that.

Material possessions are harder to think about in an abstract sense. The car you bought is still a car, that great new jacket you picked up cheap is still just a jacket. It’s more likely the experience of that summer has taken on a symbolic meaning that can live longer in your memory than a possession.

2. Experiences are resistant to unfavourable comparisons
It’s well established that social comparisons can have a huge effect on how we view what might seem like positive events. One striking example is the finding that people prefer to earn $50,000 a year while everyone else earns $25,000, instead of earning $100,000 themselves and having other people earn $200,000 (Solnick & Hemenway, 1998).

In other words it’s not about how much we earn, it’s about how much we earn in comparison to other people. It’s the social comparison, then, not the actual amount of money, that affects how we feel about our earnings.

A similar effect is seen for possessions. When there’s so many flatscreen HD TVs to choose from, it’s easy to make unfavourable comparisons between our choice and the others available (check out Barry Schwartz on why too much choice is bad for us).

Experience, however, seems to be more resistant to these sorts of unfavourable comparisons. To explain this phenomenon, Van Boven puts forward the idea that it is because of the unique nature of experience. It’s more difficult to make an unfavourable comparison when there is nothing directly comparable. After all, each of our youthful summers is different (even if only a little).

I also think it’s hard to really compare our own experiences with those of other people. Comparing possessions, however, is generally easy.

3. Experiences have more social value
There are two reasons experiences have more social value than possessions. First, experiences tend to encourage social relationships and increased social relationships are good for our happiness. Second, it is more socially acceptable to discuss our experiences with others. People who bang on about their possessions are considered much less likeable than those who talk about their holiday adventures.

Limitations

Of course, it has to be acknowledged that this type of research is at an early stage. Van Boven points to a couple of potential problems yet to be investigated:

1. The experiments examined here looked at short-term emotions – will these short-term emotions add up to long-term happiness?
2. Highly materialistic people might actually get more pleasure out of material purchases than experiences.

Materialist dilemmas

Despite these limitations, it seems that along with experimental evidence, there are also some good psychological reasons why experiences are more likely to make us happy than material possessions. On top of this, at some level we do seem to understand that experiences probably beat possessions in terms of happiness.

Set against this is the fact that we clearly live in a society awash with materialism, where objects are valued way beyond their possible contribution to our happiness. So how can this conflict possibly be resolved?

One answer to this question is that while we’re likely to think that other people are materialist, we defend our own purchases as necessary and at worst, indulgent. After all, materialism is a dirty word. A dirty word that’s on everyone’s minds.

http://www.spring.org.uk/2008/01/experiences-beat-possessions-why.php

Here are seven tips to deal with confrontation:

1. Take a deep breath just before the confrontation or
   during it if necessary. This
   lowers your heartbeat and blood pressure.

2. Breathe a little slower, again this lowers your heartbeat and lowers the
   amount of adrenaline running through your body.

3. Take 5 minutes, if you can, and quickly rehearse what
   you are going to say to someone. Make key points of your argument.

4. Get to know what triggers your anger and prepare a new
   response to that trigger. By doing this you are aware of the buttons people can push
   to elicit a certain response. When you know your own triggers it
   less likely that someone can push the buttons as you are prepared.

5. Make the person aware of how confrontational they are
   being. Saying
   something like ‘why are you shouting at me?’, ‘Why are
   you being so aggressive’. This turns the energy back on the person
   and lets them look at themselves for a minute, this might calm them down
   as a lot of people get lost in the moment and don’t realise they
   are being aggressive.

6. Another way is to turn all the attention back on the
   person you are arguing with. ‘You seem really angry about that!’; ‘You
   look as if you’re really pissed off?’ Again this
   can have the same affect of point 5.

7. Don’t get sucked into their arguments. The purpose of an argument
   is to manipulate you into losing the argument thereby showing the other person
   they have won and they are superior. If you don’t get sucked
   in there is no argument to win, and you come out looking the better person.

There was an incident a few weeks ago just outside my house. I had driven
past someone who stayed in our estate and he was walking his dog. He
was on the pavement when I drove past and I went through a puddle and soaked
his dog. I pulled into the driveway as normal when I heard this guy shouting
on me, he walked aggressively down to me and I prepared myself for a confrontation
as I hadn’t a clue what had happened I just knew by the way he was walking
he wanted a fight. The conversation went like this

‘You ****ing soaked my dog’, I looked at his dog and suddenly
realised I must have went through a puddle. Inside I laughed at the absurdity
of this man looking for a fight because some water had gone over his dog. I
said

‘Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realise.’ He didn’t
hear me.

‘You F***ing did soak him, you went through a puddle and soaked him.’

‘I said, apologies for soaking your dog I didn’t realise’ repeating
what I had said before. His demeanour changed.

‘Well you did and I’m pissed off!’

‘I can see you’re pissed off, but it was an accident’. He
started walking away.

‘I’m sorry I was so angry, it’s just it happened last night
as well with somebody else.’

‘It’s okay, I understand. See you later.’

I laughed again at the strangeness of someone wanting to fight over a dog
getting wet. The strange thing was he was walking his dog in the rain. This
shows that different things annoy different people, but it’s easy to
deal with their behaviour if you point out how they are behaving.

If all else fails, the nose is a good place to hit first which can temporarily
blind them with tears.

A simple technique for remembering your dreams is to simply tell yourself
as you drop off ‘I will remember my dreams as soon as I wake up’ keep
repeating this phrase until you nod off. What might happen is that you
will wake up several times during the night and remember your dream, as instructed,
but you will fall back asleep and forget the,. Keeping a dream journal
is also a good idea.

I have read a lot about this but only tried messing about with it last year. I
now usually have around 3 sleep cycles which sees me getting up at around 5am. I
go to sleep around 12. If I go to bed earlier I get up earlier. So
I am basically functioning on 3 sleep cycles.

My tip is to experiment with this 90 minute sleep cycle and see how it works
for you. You can squeeze an extra 8.5 hours per week by getting up 1
sleep cycle earlier and not requiring to take a nap during the day.